3 Things to Consider Before Dating Again After Your Spouse Dies
When you experience the loss of your spouse, there are so many overwhelming effects to work through and manage – especially if their death was sudden. Grief and loss are complicated, and the process is unique just like each individual.
The willingness to seek love and companionship again as time goes on can be very complicated. This decision is only made more difficult if loved ones throw in their opinions and advice on the situation.
Many widows and widowers are already unsure about allowing themselves to be vulnerable again, let alone how long they should wait. Specifically, how long after their spouse has passed is it okay to date? The answer is simple as it is complex.
In short, only you know whether you are ready to take that first step. There are no rules or timelines for how long you should wait to seek companionship, every individual and situation is incredibly unique. That being said, there are a few important things you should take into consideration before you start dating:
The Need for Companionship
After a certain period of mourning has passed, friends and family slowly go back to their lives and routines. Those lonely days and nights can really start to add up and make you miss the companionship you had with your spouse. Seeking that out through dating to fill the void is very understandable, but it’s also important to carefully consider your motivations before you start.
The Grieving Process
There are many waves to grief. There are so many things to miss. From companionship and intimacy to friendships and finances, you may suffer from different types of losses. After all, your spouse was a huge part of your identity. Grief can also pop up later down the road, sparked by memory or anniversary. The key to having another successful relationship is to be open and honest with them. It’s okay to grieve the loss of your spouse without taking away from a new partner’s place in your life.
You Can Love Both
No, you are not discovering the memory of your spouse if you decide to date again. You’re not moving on, you’re moving forward. You can still love and cherish your spouse who has died, while also forming a new identity as you move forward in life. Focus on finding ways you can comfortably (for both of you) broach the subject with the individual you’re dating when it comes up.
All in all, there really is no timeline. Love is a precious gift. So if you have the opportunity to find it twice, you should absolutely seek it out. New love can be healing, and you can find ways to still honor and cherish the memory of your spouse who has died. Only you know when the time is right.
Blair Thomas has been a music producer, bouncer, and screenwriter and for over a decade has been the proud Co-Founder of eMerchantBroker, the highest-rated high risk merchant account processor and adult merchant processing in the country. He has climbed in the Himalayas, survived a hurricane, and lived on a gold mine in the Yukon. He currently calls Thailand his home with a lifetime collection of his favorite books.